It is both cliche and true that changing mindsets can be helpful at times. Life throws a series of things at us, good, hard, indifferent, complicated, simple etc etc. It is how we respond to these things that matters much more than most of the actual things.

This is where it is cliche. Because changing my mindset about my wife’s death does not make her less dead. Knowing that she isn’t suffering anymore does not negate my suffering and loss.

So in some situations mindset can make all the difference, whilst in others it can be less helpful. I am consciously trying to be kind and compassionate no matter what.

Not sure this mindset is going too well. I have already snapped at someone for something minor which of course i can forgive myself for – I am after all human and they themselves apologised for the minor thing. But, and this is where it is important. A modicum of compassion would have stopped my snap. I could see they were struggling emotionally and I didn’t make that my priority.

A good lesson for me. Kindness and compassion need to come first, not be afterthoughts. My mindset needs to be that other is as important as I. Not more, not less but as. More and the risk is to loose self or burn out care-taking of everyone else. Less and the risk is to loose the mindset and actions of kindness and compassion.

Every time I feel the power of kindness and compassion in action, whether received or given, it reinforces that this is the path of healing and life. I have to keep that mindset or get lost in the grief that still ebbs and flows within and around me.

If you can, try to see those around you as equals, especially when they are challenging your ability to be kind or compassionate.

The photo is last night’s sunset at a local beach. Walking in the cold wind, talking about how large the ocean and how small we are.